Where The Eyes Go, The Body Follows

Don’t hit the trees.
Don’t hit the trees.
Don’t hit the trees.

Splat.

I hit the trees.

It was my first time back on a snowboard in nearly five years.

The stoke was high, the powder was fresh, and the sky was bluer than a springtime bird.

My confidence, however, was perhaps a bit misaligned.

In all my excitement, I’d forgotten the cardinal rule of the mountain—and, actually, of life:

I forgot that if my eyes are constantly locked on the trees, even as I do everything I can to steer away from them, I’ll undoubtedly end up exactly in the mess I was hoping to avoid—right in the thick of trunk and bark and a mouthful of snowy pine.

If, however, I look for the path between the pines, then my body would follow.

The board would respond, as my weight would naturally shift to support the intention of my mind.

And, the ride would be a whole lot more enjoyable.

I’ve heard variations of this same principle across so many domains of life—as I’m sure you have too:

In surfing: Keep your eyes angled toward the shore, not on your feet.

When motorcycling: Look through the turn and trust in the lean.

In Martial Arts: Focus on the strike you’re delivering, not the pain you’re hoping to avoid.

As my dear instructor would tell us all the time:

Yet the place I notice it most these days?

In how we navigate the internal movement of our lives.

Whether I’m with clients, colleagues, or dear friends—or even in silent the musings of my own mind—one of the most insidious traps I see is this tendency to fixate on what we don’t want rather than what we do want.

All valid feelings. All real concerns.

Most, based on a history of pain that we’d be wise to not repeat.

But here’s the quiet trickery of the mind:

When we set our focus consistently on what we don’t desire, we end up unconsciously orienting ourselves toward that very thing.

It becomes the center of our attention.

The reference point our nervous system is scanning for.

The default GPS coordinate our decisions lead back to.

And slowly, without meaning to, we find ourselves drifting closer to the very thing we sought to avoid.

To be clear, this isn’t about ignoring challenges or solely focusing on the positive.

We can’t pretend it’s sunny out when it’s raining around us.

Quite the contrary actually.

It’s about integrating the obstacles before us without letting them dominate our vision.

It’s about scanning the full field, accounting for everything that’s there—the trees, the fears, the bobbing heads—and choosing with intention and willing belief to center our gaze on the path through it all.

So if you’re finding yourself spiraling in that tired, old cycle of, “I don’t want this, I don’t want that,” try flipping the script to focus on what you do want.

And if even that feels unattainable, perhaps practice simply naming the opposite of what you want to avoid, slowly forming it into something meaningfully affirming.

For instance:

You don’t have to get the language perfect.

You simply need to be willing to shift your gaze.

Sure, the trees are there.

But so is the path.

So, remember please:

Where the eyes go, the body follows.

Reflections for Growth

• The Focus Trap

  What is something in your life right now that you’re fixated on avoiding? A worst-case scenario, a repeating fear, an old pattern? How might that focus be quietly shaping your path?

• The Opposite of What You Don’t Want

  Think of a recent moment when you found yourself saying, “I just don’t want ___.” Now flip it: what do you want instead? Can you articulate that clearly, even if it’s still forming?

• Your Pattern of Attention

  When things feel uncertain or high-stakes, where does your attention tend to go first—toward possibility, or toward the obstacles? What does that reveal about what you’ve learned to scan for?

Invitations for Practice

• The Daily Reframe

  Each morning this week, notice if you’re mind conjures up a concern that feels heavy or avoidance-based; write it down. Then write its opposite: something you’d rather focus on. Let that be your inner compass for the day.

• Eyes Forward Walking Meditation

  Find a good moment to walk through a semi-crowded path. Choose a soft focal point in front of you. As thoughts arise—especially those worry-based ones—gently return your gaze to center. Practice keeping your eyes (and mind) on the clearing, not the clutter.

• Post-it Pathfinding

  Grab a sticky note and write one phrase that names your path clearly:

  “I’m focused on building ___.”

  “I’m choosing to walk toward ___.”

  Stick it somewhere visible. Let it guide your focus throughout the week.

As you practice, please jot down your thoughts and experiences.

And as always, feel free to share your reflections with me.

With eyes on the path & a face full of thawing snow,

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