Choosing & Being Chosen

It was an early Spring morning in the outskirts of Chicago.

One of those nearly warming days, when the sun’s stretching out a little longer than it did the week before, but the air still carries a chill into your bones.

The trees, though largely bare, had began showing their budding courage—the soft kind of green that’s no longer a seed but not yet quite a bloom—seeking, perhaps, a little extra nudge of encouragement to begin their unfurling.

I was walking with a friend, speaking somewhat quietly about the not-so-quiet moments of our lives.

The transitions. The in-betweens. The questions.

The silently aching desire lying just beneath the surface of things.

We were talking about choice.

Love. Work. Place. Timing. All of it.

And then she said something, almost in passing, that moved me deeply:

That sentence stirred within me.

Because I knew that feeling well.
Of waiting to be picked.
To be invited into the room.
To be told, “Yes, you.”

Of hoping that the right person, the right opportunity, the right opening would choose me.

And it’s not that there’s anything wrong with being chosen. There’s great beauty in it.

To be chosen can feel like grace.
To be recognized. Invited. Seen. Desired.
To be offered a place in a story larger than our own.

But if we are not careful, we mistake that for the whole story. And we forget that we, too, are choosers.

This life—this brief, beautiful life—is shaped by our choices.

Where we go.
Who we love.
What we say yes to.
What we walk away from.
Where we make our home.
How we spend our moments.
How we speak our truth.
How we say our final goodbye.

These are all choices.

To embrace the rippling power of choice is to meet life fully.

To not merely drift into a version of our days that someone else imagined or prescripted for us, but to step into our authorship and say, This is the kind of life I choose to live.

Of course, there will always be things outside of our control.

Timing. Circumstance. Illness. The unexpected.

But choosing—choosing is our way back into presence.

To choose may not always be easy.

Sometimes it requires stepping into uncertainty.

Sometimes it means saying no to something good because it’s not truly aligned.

Sometimes it means claiming what we want—even if no one else has offered it yet.

And when we do—when we root deeply into who we are and what we want—we stop waiting passively to be chosen.

We begin actively choosing.
Creating.
Clearly.
Kindly.
Consistently.

And from that place, the people and opportunities that meet us, don’t rescue us from our passive prisons.

Rather, they recognize us as active and worthy recipients.

To be chosen is beautiful.

To choose—intentionally, wholeheartedly—is powerful.

And when these two meet?

That’s when life truly begins to hum.

So choose, my friends.

Reflections for Growth

• Choosing Fully

  Is there an area of your life where you’re holding back, hoping to be chosen—by a person, a job, a city, a possibility? What would change if you stopped waiting for external permission and started claiming the life, work, or love that most aligns with who you are now?

• What Have You Outgrown?

  Are there parts of your life that were once a choice but are now just a habit? What needs to be re-chosen—or released?

• Designing a Life of Choice

  Look back on your week and notice which moments were defaults—and which ones were true choices. Reflect on what you’d like to choose more of next week.

Invitations for Practice

• The Clear Yes List

  Write down three things you know, deep down, you want to choose. Let them be clear—even if they’re scary. Post them somewhere you’ll see this week.

• Inviting Yourself

  Where have you been waiting for an invitation? Extend it to yourself. Say yes to it. Begin.

• Embodying the Invitation

  This week, offer someone else what you’ve been waiting to receive. A genuine invitation, a thoughtful yes, an open door. Watch what this practice shifts in you as well.

As you practice, please jot down your thoughts and experiences. And as always, feel free to share your reflections directly with me.

With you in choosing & being chosen,

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