Be Like Water, Coconut Water

So I’ve got this friend, her name’s Greta.

Greta’s one of a kind—a sweet powerhouse of a woman with an incredible sense of humor and an infectious laugh to boot.

I first met Greta many years ago, when she was studying abroad and I was working in Spain.

And though, I don’t do as good a job of staying in touch with her as I’d like, I think fondly of her from time to time.

What I often remember is a conversation we had when I was visiting her in Fort Worth, Texas. where she was teaching at the time.

I recall walking up to her apartment and seeing a welcome mat that read, and I quote:

“Don’t Worry, Be Yoncé.”

Undoubtedly, I had arrived at Greta’s.

After some good giggles and chuckles while catching up, our conversation turned to relationships, romance, and dating.

It was in that moment, Greta in all her glory, leaned forward, looked me square in the eye, and said:

“You know what I’ve realized, El?

“What’s that Greta?”

I did a double-take.

“I’m going to need you to explain that one, Greta.”

She grinned and said:

“Look, I know I’m good for you. I’ve got the electrolytes, the hydration, the nutrients—the whole shebang.

And, I also know not everybody loves coconut water.

And that’s okay.”

Talk about self-knowledge in a relational context.

This wasn’t self-deprecating.

It wasn’t guarded or performative.

It wasn’t a half-hearted attempt at false modesty.

It was a simple and clear statement of self-recognition.

Greta knew her worth.

She knew what she had to offer.

She wasn’t everyone’s flavor—but she didn’t have to be.

And, most importantly, she was okay with that.

Most of us—myself very much included—struggle at different times and in different ways with the notion of not being accepted, approved of, desired, or liked.

Rejection stings.

There’s certainly something biological in that.

There’s a very real ache that arises when we’re not chosen, gotten, understood, or made to feel wanted.

But the medicine, the juice, the wisdom that Greta was so beautifully laying bare before me was that it’s not about being unwanted—it’s about being unmatched.

And there absolutely is a difference.

We can be nourishing and still not be for everyone.

We can be real and still not be everyone’s taste.

That doesn’t make us less worthy.

Actually, it makes us authentic.

And if we can sit with that a bit more embracingly—if we can feel the ache without turning it into a vile verdict of who and how we are—then we can remain rooted in our truth and open to the people and opportunities who are much better matched for our lives.

The sweet lesson Greta taught me that day?

It’s not my job to be universally liked.

It’s my job to be real, and thus to be recognizable to the ones who are meant for me.

And as for Greta?

Well, turns out someone happens to love coconut water after all.

She’s now happily married and is an inspiring lawyer, fighting for justice and civil rights, unapologetically.

Reflections for Growth

• Your Unique Flavor

  What’s something about you—your personality, your passions, your presence—that might not be for everyone, but is undeniably you? What would it feel like to celebrate that rather than shrink it?

• Making Peace with Not Being Chosen

  Can you recall a time you weren’t chosen—romantically, professionally, socially? How did it shape your sense of worth? What would it mean to reframe that moment as misalignment rather than rejection?

Invitations for Practice

• Define Your Flavor

  Write a short, gut-level answer to this prompt: “I’m good for the right people and places because…” Don’t polish it. Don’t shrink it. Just name the unique gifts your presence offers.

• Practice the Reframe

  If you find yourself feeling “not enough” this week, gently replace it with: “I’m not for everyone and not everything is for me—and that’s okay.” Move forward with acceptance and authenticity.

As you practice, please jot down your thoughts and experiences.

And as always, feel free to share your reflections directly with me.

🥥💧,

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