Be It & They Will Feel

Not long ago, I introduced you to Ray—a remarkable human I’ve met along my travels.

As a kind recap, Ray is a writer who travels the world “doing kindness,” as he likes to put it.

Now, there’s a lot I could say about Ray’s extraordinary life, and the many fascinating adventures he’s had over the decades—from serving as head writer for the number one show in the U.S. to setting up an equine therapy ranch for folks working through addiction & recovery, and, of course, the unbelievable exchanges he’s had while walking the Camino de Santiago, twice.

But, truthfully, all of that is probably better suited for his memoirs—or perhaps his future biopic.

What I’d like to share with you, instead, is a conversation that has united he and I in friendship and camaraderie, a conversation centered on Love and Loving.

Through whatever divine constellation of blessings, Ray and I have each been fortunate enough to receive various endowments of love, often provided by the words, hands, and eyes of those kind enough to serve as our teachers.

Put simply, we have been loved into loving.

In turn, each of us has carried the lessons of that love forward in relatively different, though effectively similar, manners in how we serve the communities around us.

Thankfully, for both of us, one of the great learnings of love we’ve each shared is the necessity to give it away as freely as we can.

And this isn’t just for a select few. It’s for every single one of us.

For the men and women Ray has served in maximum security centers—those who thought themselves beyond the reach of forgiveness or love.

For the young adults I’ve supported, struggling to define an identity their parents could not compute, comprehend, nor support.

For those very parents, who have needed love more than anything in order to find their steps back to loving themselves.

We talk about all of this—love’s reach, love’s resilience, love’s rippling effect. We share the lessons and impressions these experiences have pressed upon our hearts, the grateful creases we now carry within our hands.

The way we can sigh and see one another.

And as I speak, Ray watches me closely, kindly. He sees the furrow forming in my brow, and in his signature mixture of levity and seasoned wisdom, he asks, “What’s got you all twisted up, kid?”

I tell him.

I tell him that all these experiences lead me to a singular thought, or better yet, question:

How can we best create the conditions for love to flourish?

How do we cultivate and curate moments and settings such that each person, no matter their past, pain, or place in life, can experience the gift, the truth, of being loved in this one brief but blessedly brilliant lifetime?

In other words: How can we design for love?

Admittedly, I pride myself in designing and curating deeply empowering, connective, and transformative experiences. I consider the composition of the soil of a given moment or event, assessing the component factors, and the necessary and optimal conditions for growth to flourish.

Perhaps this is why I’ve been drawn to psychology, sociology, the arts, and neuroscience. This is what enlivens me—creating experiences that make others come alive uniquely and authentically.

Ray, however, Ray considers something else.

Rather than the soil, Ray considers the Sun.

Ray considers Love.

After patiently listening to my well-intended though exasperated rant, Ray lets out a kind chuckle—the kind that makes you believe he’s walked this thought path as well—and, with his eyes meeting mine, he simply says, “Be it.”

This, of course, causes all my wires to fire and flicker. I feel my eager intellectual mind just itching to jump in with a, “Yes, of course, but…”

But I pause.
I don’t run. I breathe.
I stop all the movement for just a moment, and I listen, with love.

It’s right here.

Here, in this man’s eyes, filled with every grain of salt his 75 years of life on this earth have gathered, and how he transforms them into a sweetness that he offers to me now.

Love. and Love. and Love. and Love.
Choose it. Be it. & Choose it again.

When you doubt, be Love.
When you lose your center, return to Love.
When you fear all that could be, Love all that is.

Here, now, with the blessed breath you have: Love

I thank Ray in every way I know how, my eyes swelling with gratitude & some semblance of understanding.

As he covers our meal,
slowly stands up,
puts on his light jacket,
tucks in his scarf,
embraces me lovingly,
and says, just once more,
“Be it.”

Then he goes on his way,
doing kindness.

Reflections for Growth

• Noticing Love: When in your life have you felt the presence of love simply emanating from someone? Think of people in your life who have embodied love in a way that has been undeniably felt. What impact have they had on you?

• Embodying Love: In what ways can you cultivate a similar presence of love— unique to you—so that you may embody it for others along your path? Consider how you receive and how you give love; kindly explore what arises.

• Designing for Love: What environments, relationships, or personal practices help you feel most connected to love? How can you consciously design more of these conditions in your life?

Invitations for Practice

• Being the Sun: For the next 24 hours, approach every interaction with the simple intention: “Be Love.” Notice how this shifts your presence, your words, your energy, and the way others respond to you.

• A True Love Letter: Write a letter to someone in your life who has shown you love in its purest form. You don’t need to send it—though you certainly can—but take time to express the ways they have shaped your understanding of love.

• Doing Kindness: Channel Ray’s wisdom in your own way: Choose one small, intentional act of kindness each day this week, something that requires no recognition, only offering, and give love freely, fully, & faithfully.

As you practice, please jot down your thoughts and experiences. And as always, feel free to share your reflections directly with me.

With great love and deep gratitude,

If you’re enjoying Weaving Wisdoms, please consider sharing it with someone you feel might enjoy it as well.